New Years Resolutions

Here are my new years resolutions

- To be fully aware of what is real and what is not.

- To be more accepting of criticism.

- To become stronger : physically
mentally
emotionally
spiritually

-To be able to stay true to what I know is right.

Nice and broad,detailed aims really don't push my buttons, so to speak.

There are no walls

Slowly I felt that my old life was crumpling away. First the separation will just be physical, and then experience predicts that physical distance will progress into emotional distance. You will become something removed from my present, just another of my countless memories.

It is as if the walls that I lived with were being deconstructed brick by brick. How should one react? Either as an emancipated prisoner or as a naked child? Are these walls trapping us from living or are they protecting us from the “real” world?

The truth is that the walls neither protect nor imprison, however thy do protect and/or imprison. You see, these walls are not physical, therefore. They do not exist. However they are constructed by the mind. The mind perceives and judges the physical and is the precursor to human actions. Therefore, if the walls are built by the mind that we use to interpret our daily lives, does this not constitute its reality? If one can understand the apparent contradiction, then one has a true grasp of life.

We have a choice to decide how to live our life, with or without restrictions, built by the mind. A baby is unbounded by the mind and is pluripotent – the possibilities of the life of this baby is only bounded by the physical restrictions of being a human. However as the baby matures, the mind starts to take over, molded by the adult world.

When one consumes alcohol, most will experience a euphoric feeling. How can this be? Ethanol, a drug that is a depressant (reduces the ability to function) produce such an effect. It is because it impairs the mind, removing the bars that restrict our life. However intoxicants also unable one to use their minds, so neither they nor their minds are in control.You are in full control. Do you choose to live with mental restrictions? Or do you wish to live free? Messiahs have come and gone preaching this, do you wish to wait longer or act now?

Don’t be free, live free.

Goals: Update

Seems like I made these only a couple of months ago, lets see how I've done:
Learn how to:

1. Walk on a swiss ball nope
2. To do a back flip nope
3. To do a font flip lol nope
4. Tie a tie lol, sorta, I can do full windsor and simple single tie but sometimes need a reminder...
5. Ride a skateboard kinda

Get:

1. My restricted lol YES!
2. NCEA level 3 E Certificate lol (very unlikely) Very unlikely

Sinhala:
MUST understand, speak and be able to read and write a little bit, no more I can't bullsh*t. Im honestly cant take any more of it, nothing brings me down more than being voiceless in my mother tongue x(...................... No improvement LOL!

sigh..... Im sure i've left something out, what do you guys think?

1. Grow taller Win
2. Get my full Impossible but no
3. Get stronger. Win
4. Juggling Nope
5. Become a better cook I think I've improved a bit
6. Learn how to play black jack nope
7. Learn how to sing and rap I will always sing and rap along with my ipod in private! =)
8. Learn Sinhala sign language Nope! Do we even have a sign Language
9. Learn how to complete a rubix cube Hell no
10. Learn first aid. Nope

8/18 ><" I still have 5 months though!

Helpless

On Sunday (yesterday) I had a lesson in helplessness, it all started when I went to field archery practice all the way out in Tai Tapu. I turned into the station and I followed the car in front of me where all the other cars were parked for the field archery, there wasn't even a gravel road, just tyre tracks that had been followed by many cars before. Anyway I get to near the car park and there were no parks for me or the car in front of me, so he started reversing. I was right on his tail cause, as you know I’m a speed-freak when I want a thrill, anyway so I had to reverse and I went back down the path until suddenly the front wheel slipped off something and was hanging in mid air.

Opps, I didn't see that ledge, it was all covered in grass and it all looked the same ><'. I had the three other wheels on the ground, so I tried to rev the engine in reverse, it didn't move, first gear was not any better. I was stuck! ><', I was in control of a machine that was fixed in place, How could I do this? I’m meant to be... infallible It may sound arrogant but it is the truth, how could I failed so epically! Luckily for me one of the bow hunter club people was all to happy to give me a tow, I decided for Dad to do the driving from then on. Then from all the 4WDs there in the car park, it was the guy with the weakest one who saw me in trouble, so he failed to move the car in the first try, then my coach saw me… laughed and sent all the boys in my club to help give a push (my alphas (= ) anyway with 6 guys pushing and the 4WD we managed to push the car to safety. Phew!

But seriously it brought to my attention, how much I dislike asking for help, its like I don’t want to be a burden on people and I want to be totally independent. Its almost like I feel that others would see me as inferior if I stuff up and need help, I’m so used to being the one with all the answers. I know its not right to feel this way, but I think we should be open about the way we feel because it will help us find a solution to our issues.

Thank god

God talk with angels
Originally uploaded by Lucas Janin

After wetting me and subjecting me to cold wind, its good to know that you still want to save my life, you must love me.

Thank you god!!!!!

=)

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Speeding

110 around the s-bend, he is speeding, no one knows what the rush is, except he who controls the car. Is he desperately trying to escape or is he urgently trying to obtain something? Is it both? Is it none? Is it the fact his adrenal glands respond to the thrill? Or is it more? Is it something in the road? the tires? the engine? the centripetal force? The fast ones die, they say, are you staring at one that has no fear of death?
He speeds to obtain a certain level of concentration, where only the car and the road in front of him are of existence. If he fails to do so is mind will overtake him and consume him with worrying and crippling thoughts. He speeds to escape from life, he speeds to live. The freedom ends, when he renters the city…

Not anymore

I made a guy version for this song, now I just need a guy with a good voice to sing it...
Shout out to Ne-yo who wrote the song for LeToya Luckett, and Bei maejor on the track!
See if you guys feel what I did, from the heart man.

This is dedicated to
This, This, This is dedicated to
Mmm, well if your feeling like I'm feeling, then this is dedicated to you

Verse 1:
Well, I've been the super boyfriend
Let you think that nothing bother me
Like when you go out with your friends
When you it was meant to be just me and you
And the stories bout them other boys
Bout this one, and that one, and those three
So when I ask a simple question (Why? mmm oh no no)
You wanna yell and scream and try to flip it on me

Bridge:
No, No, No (No, No)
Is anybody else just fed up?
If you heard it all before, foe, foe (foe, foe)
Then right where you are just get up

Chorus (2X):
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Cause I've cleared my mind and I realized
I deserve somebody that'll treat me right
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Because I know my word so you can keep
That drama, I don't want it anymore
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

Verse 2:
Mmm, no more settling for less
I'm looking for that kind of girl
That's gonna give her best, cause I'm giving my best
A girl that wants to cherish this
And knows exactly how to treat me
Not some silly little girl
Who wants too brag bout me to her friends

Bridge:
No, No, No (No, No)
Is anybody else just fed up?
If you heard it all before, foe, foe (foe, foe)
Not Anymore lyrics on
Then right where you are just get up

Chorus (2X):
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Cause I've cleared my mind and I realized
I deserve somebody that'll treat me right
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Because I know my word so you can keep
That drama, I don't want it anymore
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore (walking out the door)
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore (no, not anymore)
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore (not no more, not no more, I'm gone)
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore (No)

This is dedicated to(better leave in a day)
This, this, this is dedicated to(wipe the pain from my mind)
Mmm, well if you feeling like I'm feeling, then this is dedicated to you (if you feel me say)

Chorus:
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Cause I've dried my eyes and I realized
I deserve somebody that'll treat me right
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Because I know my word so you can keep
That drama, I don't want it anymore
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

This is that *%&@#@$ right here

I am shrunk..... I can feel my posture slowly reducing into something similar to our ancestors, mother always told me to stand tall, put my shoulders down you'll gain an inch blah blah.... this gives the masculine impression of confidence and screams "I own this place"... ( where am I going with this...) but right now I just want to shrink into the ground.

I can't deal with this, the older I've got the more I seem to be slipping to mediocirty, something once so promising, yet is now nothing special. Tomorrow is Bio, not looking foward to it, I don't even care myself about what I get, I just don't want to disappoint, its like the expectations are just too high. I don't want to disappoint my parents, it makes them very happy for them to talk about what I've done or if some one compliments me in front of them, I don't want to disappoint my friends, I don't want to disappoint my family, I don't want to disappoint my teachers. Its almost like I have to prove my worth somewhere.

It's bloody crazy the way this all works, someone will judge you in 5 seconds on your ability, based of one years worth work, done in 3 hours 8 O (thought this while doing chemistry) . Simply crazy that someone has the right to do that!

All the time its like people tell us that most of us will get pushed into the shadows and will never suceed, for a time we a bright while we imagine "making it". However it is such a daughnting process thinking that you may just another one, to fall into the cracks.

Untitled #2

Rich men cry money,
Sad men cry tears,
Mad men cry blood
of others.

Looked for a picture to match this poem and I found this with the description of the poem:

My close friends know that I love Africa -- the entire continent. In fact, I'm going to Uganda for three weeks in just a few days and when people ask me why I am going, I am just left speechless. There are so many atrocities, problems, and reasons, I want to look at them and ask them why they are not going.

In our society, we claim ignorance as a valid reason to ignoring things like genocide, rape, mass murders, poverty, malnutrition, kidnapping, etc. We hear about it on the nightly news while eating our dinners and feel sad for about 30 minutes until the next big sitcom airs.

Here is a list of problems that I am putting up so that you can no longer claim ignorance as an excuse:
- 315,000,000 people in Africa survive on less than 1 US dollar per day. (Per capita income of the US is over $40,000. Average personal income is significantly less, but not so small that we can't spare a dollar a day.)
- 184,000,000 Africans (that is 33% of the entire continent) suffer from malnutrition.
- As recently as 2000, over 300,000,000 did not have access to safe drinking water.
- Average African life expectancy is 41 years old. (That is less than 66% of the most pessimistic life expectancy numbers for the average American.)
- 1 out of 6 African kids never make it past the age of 5.
- 50% of civilian causalities in African wars (and there are always multiple African wars going on at any given moment) are children under the age of 13.
- Of 1,000 Africans, statistically, only 200 have any electricity at all, only 15 have access to a telephone, and only 7 can use the internet.
- 3,000 children under the age of 5 die from malaria EVERYDAY in Africa -- that's over a million CHILDREN a year. (Only 8 people -- all together -- in the US died from malaria last year.)
- 12,000,000 children have lost their parents to AIDS.
- At least 25,000,000 people in Africa are HIV-positive.
There are plenty more facts like this. Educate yourself.

Know the facts. Stop ignorance. Support Africa. Spread the love.

I think he wants you to check out his photostream, maybe. He has some pretty thoughtful photographs.

Peace'

Where is my last blog post????

O dear, I think I have deleted my last post X(. Good thing it wasn't to long though but I'm not repeating what I said! Only thing I wanted to say was that I've started uploading my good pics of the Sri Lanka trip on flickr, here.... not many of them are uploaded and I have a cap on how much I can upload, so I'll find somewhere else to upload the rest.

Reaching homeplate

Back home and boy does it feel good! Ok maybe a little cold (just got used to 30C), I'll get onto writing a post travel blog once I have sorted all the photos, all the cool photos will be put on flickr and then I might put them here.

Just another day

I'm not meant to be in Colombo, yesterday we were meant to to travel to the cool upland interior of the Island (where all the tea estates are at etc.). However my granddad got sick just the day before we were meant to leave. I'm not complaining too much, my throat was hurting me like hell on that day. However that means less awesome photos, sorry guys X(, I've been stuck in Colombo since I got here! (ok technically the airport isn't in Colombo but that doesn't count), travelling halfway around the world to sit in my grandparents house and being bitten by mosquitoes is not my idea of an ideal holiday but nevertheless I'm here now and if every goes to plan I'll be going to a coastal town for the night tomorrow =).

Sickness is such a weird thing isn't it? Normally when we are well we run around and keep ourselves busy, but when we are sick it forces us to keep still. I have read 1 book (not Campbell xo) the whole year but in the last two days I've read two, incredible isn't it? Maybe if we were more still in our day to day lives we would get sick less often

Peace``

Histamine induced rage

Look you would not be happy if you had 13 mosquito bits on your face, that are bright red a swelling up a bit. All that histamine has been getting to my head. Sleep deprived too... Why does the rest of my family insist of getting up at 6am, Im trying to have a holiday over here!

It feels like I've been here for weeks not days! sigh, anyway my body will get used to the mosquitos, eventually.

Geez I better get the postcards sorted soon otherwise I'll turn up there before the postcards =p

Specific

Is there anything you guys actually want, like from Singapore? It makes my job so much easier when I have something to look for specifically instead of looking through lots of stuff looking for stuff you may like.

Untitled

Sorry just couldn't think up a proper title, spent about 3 mins thinking. There is so much I have to communicate yet I have little to say. Overall, I think we are all very lucky to live where we live.

We tend to overlook what we have in the present moment and seek distraction in the illusionary, how bad our life is at the moment, how lonely we are, how we could have been somewhere else, I'm sure one can add numerous words that all mean the same thing. When we do these things we are no longer in spirit, like zombies. This is ultimately the source of our unhappiness or if we look at it the other way we can say that the ultimate source of happiness is being in tune with our presence.

If we dissect some aspects of my life,

How many teenagers have the freedom that I have?

How many can say they can hop in a car whenever they want and go where ever they want?

How many can say they have decent food?

How many can say they have clean water?

How many can say they have family and friends that love them?

Etc...

Lets enjoy the time left in school and/or with each other.

MISSING YOU GUYS IN CHCH!!!! ='(

What boys get up to at lunch time when girls aren't looking =D

Man, I wish I took a photo or even better yet a video, they say a picture is worth a thousand words, but let me try and describe the picture (not in a thousand words). Ok so Timmy gets together me, him, Hao and Alex to go to subway, then I told John that we were going, so he tagged along too. I jokingly said John you can sit in the boot. When I got to Timmy's car I realised that Rav4's don't have a boot =O, (why the hell would someone have such an impracticle car), then it was time to get into the Rav4. Around this time I realised that Rav4's only seat 4 people.... So John happily squeezed between me and Alex at the back, lets just say that I haven't been that close to another guy since.... the afterparty I guess hahaha!
Anyway we rock up at Subway and it is packed and we order the sub of the day. We ate the sub's like real men, nothing but the sound of mastercation (I love that word!). Hao ate the sub so quick, he must have swallowed it whole, guess who was last and almost ditched!! So rude.
So as you do when your in a car full of guys, Timmy puts on some Taylor Swift and as guys do they sing along.... quite scary that me and John new nearly all the words.
" no its Romeo take me, save me is at the end"- John B
opps my bad lol.
What a bad description, you had to be there!

Disappointing my brother...

Well today was the last session for speed skating this year, kinda strange feeling that I won't be training till after I go to Dunedin. So lucky that I have zero homework right now, with all of you eco people, I feel for you.
Anyway I found this on youtube. All I can say is that Kanye, you disappointed me you should have known better =( and Talyor Swift you looked quite beautiful for the VMAs =D. Checkout out the link.

Kanye West's Outburst at the VMAs

Blue?

Photo from flickr: Gian [The Cicco]
Why so sad? Why my friends, do you dwell on the pain of the winter, when the opportunity and peace of spring is here?

The skies are clear, without clouds to obscure the light from above, as your minds should be clear, allowing the light from within to emanate from within you.

Nature appears to be reborn, however life has never left us, it is always within, no matter the external form.

Do not get bogged down in all that is transient and therefore illusionary, be free.

Shock

Pretty average days in some respects, however during physics today someone who had no past history had a fit. Yes it was very shocking, however reflecting back today, what i found shocking, well maybe the verb is too strong, was that a great majority of the class was almost paralyzed in their chairs, a number of whom plan to do health science and go on to do medicine.
Medicine is not clear cut and ideal, with a definitive answer like theoretical science, it has a very significant humanity part to it too.

Medicine is about caring about the welfare of people not the size of your paycheck or brain.

That is all...