I am shrunk..... I can feel my posture slowly reducing into something similar to our ancestors, mother always told me to stand tall, put my shoulders down you'll gain an inch blah blah.... this gives the masculine impression of confidence and screams "I own this place"... ( where am I going with this...) but right now I just want to shrink into the ground.
I can't deal with this, the older I've got the more I seem to be slipping to mediocirty, something once so promising, yet is now nothing special. Tomorrow is Bio, not looking foward to it, I don't even care myself about what I get, I just don't want to disappoint, its like the expectations are just too high. I don't want to disappoint my parents, it makes them very happy for them to talk about what I've done or if some one compliments me in front of them, I don't want to disappoint my friends, I don't want to disappoint my family, I don't want to disappoint my teachers. Its almost like I have to prove my worth somewhere.
It's bloody crazy the way this all works, someone will judge you in 5 seconds on your ability, based of one years worth work, done in 3 hours 8 O (thought this while doing chemistry) . Simply crazy that someone has the right to do that!
All the time its like people tell us that most of us will get pushed into the shadows and will never suceed, for a time we a bright while we imagine "making it". However it is such a daughnting process thinking that you may just another one, to fall into the cracks.
