Anger

See if you feel this,

So mad, But why? Because I feel that I could be doing so much better, failing to remember that each experience in life is meant to maximise our spiritual growth.

I'm angry. At what? At who? Myself, always frustrated at the endless missed opportunities, forgiving others but I have never forgiven myself. I dwell in the past and imagine how my life situation would have turned out if I been even slightly less lazy or incompetent, while developing a venomous jealousy and contempt of this illusionary destiny.

After being told to forgive others and not to blame others, I have forgotten not to blame and to forgive the person closest to me, the one that is with me until the end for his failures and short comings. What a critical double standard.

Stuck in a rut as I (stupidly) try and dig myself out of a hole, that began as a small depression in the earth now I stand, dwarfed in a crater, thus realizing that all I needed to do was to step up. However I find myself so deep, that I must climb to escape. As I release the ink onto this page, I'm climbing back up to a beautiful reality.

Peace~

Life is fickle

Life is quite fickle, just one small interaction, a few words, a body language cue or even just a misunderstanding between two people can create such unfounded feelings of both hollow happiness and sadness. With the former being all too fragile. Only a still and clear mind can be immune to these fluctuations in emotion. Nothing much to say right now..... Im actually getting onto my work, except the yo-yo which I don't like to do.

Reminiscing: Trade me

Got bored so looked back at some of my feedback on trade me, this one always cracks me up big time thought I would share it with you:

	2 Nov 2007
	Deal concluded successfully but left feeling strangely discomforted, no friendly salutation on email and never meet trader (me) when picking up goods, just an uncertain but polite young boy who had the goods ready for me(me). No extra charge for friendly smiles

LMAO! HAHA! :D

A quick trip to the Dunny....

I went down to Dunedin on Monday, nothing too interesting went down, just hutted down there to checkout what otgao Uni. was like. I found its much like Canterbury except the students a much more rowdy than back home. Apparently like 1,800 people do first year health science, so many people!

We got shown around Unicol and St.Margrets College, and from people I've asked Unicol is raucous while St. Margrets is more studious, in fact some say too studious. My family also drove past Carrington, its up a hill! In contrast St.Margrets is inside the Uni. Both have good food, and the Unipol gym is further away from Carrington. But then going up the hill would be good for you. However, when in the car, especially our old white Vauxhall Astra is highly freaky, sometimes frightening lol. ( North and West Dunedin have a lot of steep hils). At St. Margerts they bring the food to the table while at the others, there is a buffet. It is also really close to most of the other halls.

Anyway it probably looks St.Margrets is looking better, but I have to account for the price of car parks. Im 98% sure Im going to take the car down, cause I probably have to go around to sports trainings etc. and then I can also drive up when I feel like it, without taking an 8 hour bus ride, or a plane trip (waste of money). But it costs money to lease out a park, or if I go to Carrington I could risk it and rough it out on the streets (unlikely). I should ask how much each one costs some time. And then it depends on the number of people I know that are going to the halls.

Yea thats just some of the things I gathered, but I can't really be bother rambling on about it, ask if you want to know =).

It was kinda cold and dreary (just like home lol), but it wouldn't be so bad when it warms up.
We went to the museum and there was a 30C butterfly exhibit! I had almost forgoten, how great, how natural it is to be that warm. When I get a real job, its going to be where there is no winter! imagine just chilling out on the beach all year! 8-D
And then just to contrast the next day when we came up to CHCH, it was 4C at 1 pm 8-( .

Last few days

Ok lets start from thursday, I went to see the fabulous movie Bruno at the early time of 12 (I was not happy with it being so early) with the boys ( me, Hao, Timmy, Alex, Andrew, John and Russel). As you probably read from my last post I was not happy with the movie, though Andrew liked it a lot. The truth comes out.... lol

Then on thursday night was a party at Nick's (see above). It was alright, though the ratio to guys to chicks was far too high and some stoners came and messed up Nick's kitchen and chucked walnuts all over. Everyone (except me and like steve) got semi-drunk (because we ran out of alcohol and/or high of the ganja. Andrew Lee managed to get a $920 fine from the cops when he went to get maccas for himself, for breach of license, speeding and displaying his L plates. lol very unlucky.

Friday, what did I do on friday, =S O yeah went to the driving range with dad. Basically my first time to a driving range. I got a few good shots, a lot of not so good shots and a few shit shots lol.

Saturday, did a little archery, man it felt good to do after so long (2 weeks) lol. Was quite shit at the start though. Went driving for a bit, I should get my restricted soon so I don't have to go in the car with my mum distracted me by screaming about something. Then the boys (Hao, Panda and me) hutted down to Ding's house.

We played some wii (guess who dominated =D) and watched a bit of the 4th Harry Potter so Timmy could have fun looking at Emma Watson. I realised how down up, everyone's eyebrows were in that movie. That movie was actually a poor presentation of what was in the book, but considering the movie took 13 months, and missed out more than half the stuff in the book, maybe it was a good thing.

Then Sunday, urgh I had to get up at 6:55! I protest, over these holidays I've come to the conclusion that I need atleast 9 hours sleep to grow =D. But yea I was not happy, then me and my dad roll up at 8:20 5 min after bow inspection was ment to start (according to coach) to see the street was empty. Then all the alpha's(my minions) turned up too with out coach there. And then guess who turns up like 20 minutes late, saying that we don't start till 9:15 :O . What a waste of an hour of non-sleep. Well the competition was less than average for me, having not really practised for 2 weeks my performance was at times less than satisfactory. =( I left before all the scores were added up so I'm not sure where im placed, probably 4th or 5th =(. Shooting took all day basically (9 to 4) to Im pretty tired.

Peace``

Review of Bruno

2/5 stars: I had quite high expectations with this movie, with Sasha Baron Cohen's Borat being good, I guess the public was expecting something even funnier. Well I'm sorry but I dont find a mans genitals very funny at all, especially when its on the big screen and flopping around! Infact if I had not paid $10 for it I would have walked out somewhere near the start and missed out the funny bits. Yea, I don't really want to talk about it anymore it was just too gay for my liking.

Peace``

Archery paintball gun >=D

I meant to post this up ages ago, but you know how life is in the term. One day while at aimtru, the younger archers were very excited by this (see above). Its the airow (pun to arrow) gun, basically you attach it onto your bow and use the power from the draw and compressed CO2 to shoot your paintballs. Every archers dream, to pone their friends in paintball with a bow, while every1 else is missing you with their little guns.
Price $1,100
= 0
Not fair, us poor students want fun too!

This gun is so much more accurate but, of course its only one ball at a time. I can see myself having so much fun if I had one of these when I was paintballing. But ofcourse I am way too poor to afford to go paintballing =(.

More Info
Peace``

Recovered?

Well Im glad thats over, and I'm glad term two is over. However I have that wierd feeling that I havn't done something I was meant to do, or something that I should have done...
sigh I guess bleh forget it.

Anyway I also kinda doubt my full recovery, started exercising again, well at least I tried, I had to stop half way because I was too tired. I might try again later tonight, I've been sleeping a lot more than I used to, but I haven't grown and nor to I feel less tired. I've got to get fit again and quick, just looked up whats planned for next speed skating session,
3k
500m
1k
3k relay

in 45 min =0 . Considering I have been resting because I was sick and that I haven't been on th ice for 2 weeks and I'll be skating with people mnay times better than I am, enough to make me cough again lol. In addition to that after resting for 1 week, my muscles have shrunk :( not cool.

Its finally the holidays and now i feel likes it over hyped, anyway at least I can relax now =D.