See if you feel this,
So mad, But why? Because I feel that I could be doing so much better, failing to remember that each experience in life is meant to maximise our spiritual growth.
I'm angry. At what? At who? Myself, always frustrated at the endless missed opportunities, forgiving others but I have never forgiven myself. I dwell in the past and imagine how my life situation would have turned out if I been even slightly less lazy or incompetent, while developing a venomous jealousy and contempt of this illusionary destiny.
After being told to forgive others and not to blame others, I have forgotten not to blame and to forgive the person closest to me, the one that is with me until the end for his failures and short comings. What a critical double standard.
Stuck in a rut as I (stupidly) try and dig myself out of a hole, that began as a small depression in the earth now I stand, dwarfed in a crater, thus realizing that all I needed to do was to step up. However I find myself so deep, that I must climb to escape. As I release the ink onto this page, I'm climbing back up to a beautiful reality.
Peace~
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Naveen, I have to say that you are amazingly deep for a guy. (That's a good thing) Try and be happy. Watch kung-fu panda.
ReplyDeleteI usually feel an-on-the-verge-of-tears-frustration when I'm failing. (it's happening more frequently this year ^^)
Man that was a deep post.
ReplyDeletePhew
dw we all feel like that at times:)
Climb up that ladder!
Wow. Seriously, you should be a writer.
ReplyDeleteYou ever read fight club?
I've been there many, many times. What makes it worst is that we can, to a point, accept anything from others: they are forces outside our control and therefore in order to act purely for the best we MUST be able to look past others' attitudes and actions and instead look at what we can do or could have done.
But no-one achieves perfection. We will always want to do more, have more, be more than we are. Everyone makes mistakes - there is always something we could have made more from. And if you hold yourself to the highest standards, if you always consider what could have been, you will never be satisfied with what actually is.
So accept imperfection, or never be content? We have to do a bit of both, to at the same time allow ourselves some happiness while also making progress. But regret and specualtion on what could have been, on 'what if', is useless. I've been there too many times. Instead try to think of what can still be, and make it happen. You have to at the same time forgive yourself for the past but also no longer allow yourself to make excuses for the present, to actually stop thinking and get out there and DO something about it to try to make tomorrow better than today. But we always have to remember that our best is all we can do.
Of course all of it's a bit easier said than done :)
Sorry about the long post lol - sometimes you just see something which triggers that urge to write, get it all out... Anyway, rant finished.
Kung-fu panda! I watched it when I was sick and I felt better. Quite good for a animated movie.
ReplyDeleteAnyway I've come to the conclusion that we can't be happy 100% of the time but we can just accept our present.
When I was writing this I was thinking about my whole life cause I never just did let go of stuff properly, you know.
lol yes fully agree with you man, its just all this time I wasn't sure why I was angry.
ReplyDeletelol yup. Tbh i think i was more talking about myself rather than trying to offer any kind of advice.
ReplyDeleteI feel kinda guilty for not watching kung fu panda seeing as i used it for my fight name lol
Kung Fu Panda is actually quite deep for a animation movie too. lol
ReplyDeleteI have it at home even though I've never watched it! Let's have a DEEP philosophical KungFu Panda Day!! (they should act it out in the Court Theatre instead :P)
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, Naveen I understand where you're coming from. Learn from the past, Let go and look forward :)
Tomorrow is a new day, and the start of a new beginning! eeeeee
What makes my noodles magical? NOTHING!
ReplyDeleteLol thats what Jenny gathered from Kung Fu panda, easier said than done I must admit, tricky to find a balance.
ReplyDelete