New Years Resolutions

Here are my new years resolutions

- To be fully aware of what is real and what is not.

- To be more accepting of criticism.

- To become stronger : physically
mentally
emotionally
spiritually

-To be able to stay true to what I know is right.

Nice and broad,detailed aims really don't push my buttons, so to speak.

There are no walls

Slowly I felt that my old life was crumpling away. First the separation will just be physical, and then experience predicts that physical distance will progress into emotional distance. You will become something removed from my present, just another of my countless memories.

It is as if the walls that I lived with were being deconstructed brick by brick. How should one react? Either as an emancipated prisoner or as a naked child? Are these walls trapping us from living or are they protecting us from the “real” world?

The truth is that the walls neither protect nor imprison, however thy do protect and/or imprison. You see, these walls are not physical, therefore. They do not exist. However they are constructed by the mind. The mind perceives and judges the physical and is the precursor to human actions. Therefore, if the walls are built by the mind that we use to interpret our daily lives, does this not constitute its reality? If one can understand the apparent contradiction, then one has a true grasp of life.

We have a choice to decide how to live our life, with or without restrictions, built by the mind. A baby is unbounded by the mind and is pluripotent – the possibilities of the life of this baby is only bounded by the physical restrictions of being a human. However as the baby matures, the mind starts to take over, molded by the adult world.

When one consumes alcohol, most will experience a euphoric feeling. How can this be? Ethanol, a drug that is a depressant (reduces the ability to function) produce such an effect. It is because it impairs the mind, removing the bars that restrict our life. However intoxicants also unable one to use their minds, so neither they nor their minds are in control.You are in full control. Do you choose to live with mental restrictions? Or do you wish to live free? Messiahs have come and gone preaching this, do you wish to wait longer or act now?

Don’t be free, live free.

Goals: Update

Seems like I made these only a couple of months ago, lets see how I've done:
Learn how to:

1. Walk on a swiss ball nope
2. To do a back flip nope
3. To do a font flip lol nope
4. Tie a tie lol, sorta, I can do full windsor and simple single tie but sometimes need a reminder...
5. Ride a skateboard kinda

Get:

1. My restricted lol YES!
2. NCEA level 3 E Certificate lol (very unlikely) Very unlikely

Sinhala:
MUST understand, speak and be able to read and write a little bit, no more I can't bullsh*t. Im honestly cant take any more of it, nothing brings me down more than being voiceless in my mother tongue x(...................... No improvement LOL!

sigh..... Im sure i've left something out, what do you guys think?

1. Grow taller Win
2. Get my full Impossible but no
3. Get stronger. Win
4. Juggling Nope
5. Become a better cook I think I've improved a bit
6. Learn how to play black jack nope
7. Learn how to sing and rap I will always sing and rap along with my ipod in private! =)
8. Learn Sinhala sign language Nope! Do we even have a sign Language
9. Learn how to complete a rubix cube Hell no
10. Learn first aid. Nope

8/18 ><" I still have 5 months though!

Helpless

On Sunday (yesterday) I had a lesson in helplessness, it all started when I went to field archery practice all the way out in Tai Tapu. I turned into the station and I followed the car in front of me where all the other cars were parked for the field archery, there wasn't even a gravel road, just tyre tracks that had been followed by many cars before. Anyway I get to near the car park and there were no parks for me or the car in front of me, so he started reversing. I was right on his tail cause, as you know I’m a speed-freak when I want a thrill, anyway so I had to reverse and I went back down the path until suddenly the front wheel slipped off something and was hanging in mid air.

Opps, I didn't see that ledge, it was all covered in grass and it all looked the same ><'. I had the three other wheels on the ground, so I tried to rev the engine in reverse, it didn't move, first gear was not any better. I was stuck! ><', I was in control of a machine that was fixed in place, How could I do this? I’m meant to be... infallible It may sound arrogant but it is the truth, how could I failed so epically! Luckily for me one of the bow hunter club people was all to happy to give me a tow, I decided for Dad to do the driving from then on. Then from all the 4WDs there in the car park, it was the guy with the weakest one who saw me in trouble, so he failed to move the car in the first try, then my coach saw me… laughed and sent all the boys in my club to help give a push (my alphas (= ) anyway with 6 guys pushing and the 4WD we managed to push the car to safety. Phew!

But seriously it brought to my attention, how much I dislike asking for help, its like I don’t want to be a burden on people and I want to be totally independent. Its almost like I feel that others would see me as inferior if I stuff up and need help, I’m so used to being the one with all the answers. I know its not right to feel this way, but I think we should be open about the way we feel because it will help us find a solution to our issues.

Thank god

God talk with angels
Originally uploaded by Lucas Janin

After wetting me and subjecting me to cold wind, its good to know that you still want to save my life, you must love me.

Thank you god!!!!!

=)

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Speeding

110 around the s-bend, he is speeding, no one knows what the rush is, except he who controls the car. Is he desperately trying to escape or is he urgently trying to obtain something? Is it both? Is it none? Is it the fact his adrenal glands respond to the thrill? Or is it more? Is it something in the road? the tires? the engine? the centripetal force? The fast ones die, they say, are you staring at one that has no fear of death?
He speeds to obtain a certain level of concentration, where only the car and the road in front of him are of existence. If he fails to do so is mind will overtake him and consume him with worrying and crippling thoughts. He speeds to escape from life, he speeds to live. The freedom ends, when he renters the city…

Not anymore

I made a guy version for this song, now I just need a guy with a good voice to sing it...
Shout out to Ne-yo who wrote the song for LeToya Luckett, and Bei maejor on the track!
See if you guys feel what I did, from the heart man.

This is dedicated to
This, This, This is dedicated to
Mmm, well if your feeling like I'm feeling, then this is dedicated to you

Verse 1:
Well, I've been the super boyfriend
Let you think that nothing bother me
Like when you go out with your friends
When you it was meant to be just me and you
And the stories bout them other boys
Bout this one, and that one, and those three
So when I ask a simple question (Why? mmm oh no no)
You wanna yell and scream and try to flip it on me

Bridge:
No, No, No (No, No)
Is anybody else just fed up?
If you heard it all before, foe, foe (foe, foe)
Then right where you are just get up

Chorus (2X):
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Cause I've cleared my mind and I realized
I deserve somebody that'll treat me right
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Because I know my word so you can keep
That drama, I don't want it anymore
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

Verse 2:
Mmm, no more settling for less
I'm looking for that kind of girl
That's gonna give her best, cause I'm giving my best
A girl that wants to cherish this
And knows exactly how to treat me
Not some silly little girl
Who wants too brag bout me to her friends

Bridge:
No, No, No (No, No)
Is anybody else just fed up?
If you heard it all before, foe, foe (foe, foe)
Not Anymore lyrics on
Then right where you are just get up

Chorus (2X):
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Cause I've cleared my mind and I realized
I deserve somebody that'll treat me right
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Because I know my word so you can keep
That drama, I don't want it anymore
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore (walking out the door)
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore (no, not anymore)
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore (not no more, not no more, I'm gone)
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore (No)

This is dedicated to(better leave in a day)
This, this, this is dedicated to(wipe the pain from my mind)
Mmm, well if you feeling like I'm feeling, then this is dedicated to you (if you feel me say)

Chorus:
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Cause I've dried my eyes and I realized
I deserve somebody that'll treat me right
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Somebody say, I don't want it anymore
I don't want it anymore
Because I know my word so you can keep
That drama, I don't want it anymore
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

This is that *%&@#@$ right here

I am shrunk..... I can feel my posture slowly reducing into something similar to our ancestors, mother always told me to stand tall, put my shoulders down you'll gain an inch blah blah.... this gives the masculine impression of confidence and screams "I own this place"... ( where am I going with this...) but right now I just want to shrink into the ground.

I can't deal with this, the older I've got the more I seem to be slipping to mediocirty, something once so promising, yet is now nothing special. Tomorrow is Bio, not looking foward to it, I don't even care myself about what I get, I just don't want to disappoint, its like the expectations are just too high. I don't want to disappoint my parents, it makes them very happy for them to talk about what I've done or if some one compliments me in front of them, I don't want to disappoint my friends, I don't want to disappoint my family, I don't want to disappoint my teachers. Its almost like I have to prove my worth somewhere.

It's bloody crazy the way this all works, someone will judge you in 5 seconds on your ability, based of one years worth work, done in 3 hours 8 O (thought this while doing chemistry) . Simply crazy that someone has the right to do that!

All the time its like people tell us that most of us will get pushed into the shadows and will never suceed, for a time we a bright while we imagine "making it". However it is such a daughnting process thinking that you may just another one, to fall into the cracks.

Untitled #2

Rich men cry money,
Sad men cry tears,
Mad men cry blood
of others.

Looked for a picture to match this poem and I found this with the description of the poem:

My close friends know that I love Africa -- the entire continent. In fact, I'm going to Uganda for three weeks in just a few days and when people ask me why I am going, I am just left speechless. There are so many atrocities, problems, and reasons, I want to look at them and ask them why they are not going.

In our society, we claim ignorance as a valid reason to ignoring things like genocide, rape, mass murders, poverty, malnutrition, kidnapping, etc. We hear about it on the nightly news while eating our dinners and feel sad for about 30 minutes until the next big sitcom airs.

Here is a list of problems that I am putting up so that you can no longer claim ignorance as an excuse:
- 315,000,000 people in Africa survive on less than 1 US dollar per day. (Per capita income of the US is over $40,000. Average personal income is significantly less, but not so small that we can't spare a dollar a day.)
- 184,000,000 Africans (that is 33% of the entire continent) suffer from malnutrition.
- As recently as 2000, over 300,000,000 did not have access to safe drinking water.
- Average African life expectancy is 41 years old. (That is less than 66% of the most pessimistic life expectancy numbers for the average American.)
- 1 out of 6 African kids never make it past the age of 5.
- 50% of civilian causalities in African wars (and there are always multiple African wars going on at any given moment) are children under the age of 13.
- Of 1,000 Africans, statistically, only 200 have any electricity at all, only 15 have access to a telephone, and only 7 can use the internet.
- 3,000 children under the age of 5 die from malaria EVERYDAY in Africa -- that's over a million CHILDREN a year. (Only 8 people -- all together -- in the US died from malaria last year.)
- 12,000,000 children have lost their parents to AIDS.
- At least 25,000,000 people in Africa are HIV-positive.
There are plenty more facts like this. Educate yourself.

Know the facts. Stop ignorance. Support Africa. Spread the love.

I think he wants you to check out his photostream, maybe. He has some pretty thoughtful photographs.

Peace'

Where is my last blog post????

O dear, I think I have deleted my last post X(. Good thing it wasn't to long though but I'm not repeating what I said! Only thing I wanted to say was that I've started uploading my good pics of the Sri Lanka trip on flickr, here.... not many of them are uploaded and I have a cap on how much I can upload, so I'll find somewhere else to upload the rest.

Reaching homeplate

Back home and boy does it feel good! Ok maybe a little cold (just got used to 30C), I'll get onto writing a post travel blog once I have sorted all the photos, all the cool photos will be put on flickr and then I might put them here.

Just another day

I'm not meant to be in Colombo, yesterday we were meant to to travel to the cool upland interior of the Island (where all the tea estates are at etc.). However my granddad got sick just the day before we were meant to leave. I'm not complaining too much, my throat was hurting me like hell on that day. However that means less awesome photos, sorry guys X(, I've been stuck in Colombo since I got here! (ok technically the airport isn't in Colombo but that doesn't count), travelling halfway around the world to sit in my grandparents house and being bitten by mosquitoes is not my idea of an ideal holiday but nevertheless I'm here now and if every goes to plan I'll be going to a coastal town for the night tomorrow =).

Sickness is such a weird thing isn't it? Normally when we are well we run around and keep ourselves busy, but when we are sick it forces us to keep still. I have read 1 book (not Campbell xo) the whole year but in the last two days I've read two, incredible isn't it? Maybe if we were more still in our day to day lives we would get sick less often

Peace``

Histamine induced rage

Look you would not be happy if you had 13 mosquito bits on your face, that are bright red a swelling up a bit. All that histamine has been getting to my head. Sleep deprived too... Why does the rest of my family insist of getting up at 6am, Im trying to have a holiday over here!

It feels like I've been here for weeks not days! sigh, anyway my body will get used to the mosquitos, eventually.

Geez I better get the postcards sorted soon otherwise I'll turn up there before the postcards =p

Specific

Is there anything you guys actually want, like from Singapore? It makes my job so much easier when I have something to look for specifically instead of looking through lots of stuff looking for stuff you may like.

Untitled

Sorry just couldn't think up a proper title, spent about 3 mins thinking. There is so much I have to communicate yet I have little to say. Overall, I think we are all very lucky to live where we live.

We tend to overlook what we have in the present moment and seek distraction in the illusionary, how bad our life is at the moment, how lonely we are, how we could have been somewhere else, I'm sure one can add numerous words that all mean the same thing. When we do these things we are no longer in spirit, like zombies. This is ultimately the source of our unhappiness or if we look at it the other way we can say that the ultimate source of happiness is being in tune with our presence.

If we dissect some aspects of my life,

How many teenagers have the freedom that I have?

How many can say they can hop in a car whenever they want and go where ever they want?

How many can say they have decent food?

How many can say they have clean water?

How many can say they have family and friends that love them?

Etc...

Lets enjoy the time left in school and/or with each other.

MISSING YOU GUYS IN CHCH!!!! ='(

What boys get up to at lunch time when girls aren't looking =D

Man, I wish I took a photo or even better yet a video, they say a picture is worth a thousand words, but let me try and describe the picture (not in a thousand words). Ok so Timmy gets together me, him, Hao and Alex to go to subway, then I told John that we were going, so he tagged along too. I jokingly said John you can sit in the boot. When I got to Timmy's car I realised that Rav4's don't have a boot =O, (why the hell would someone have such an impracticle car), then it was time to get into the Rav4. Around this time I realised that Rav4's only seat 4 people.... So John happily squeezed between me and Alex at the back, lets just say that I haven't been that close to another guy since.... the afterparty I guess hahaha!
Anyway we rock up at Subway and it is packed and we order the sub of the day. We ate the sub's like real men, nothing but the sound of mastercation (I love that word!). Hao ate the sub so quick, he must have swallowed it whole, guess who was last and almost ditched!! So rude.
So as you do when your in a car full of guys, Timmy puts on some Taylor Swift and as guys do they sing along.... quite scary that me and John new nearly all the words.
" no its Romeo take me, save me is at the end"- John B
opps my bad lol.
What a bad description, you had to be there!

Disappointing my brother...

Well today was the last session for speed skating this year, kinda strange feeling that I won't be training till after I go to Dunedin. So lucky that I have zero homework right now, with all of you eco people, I feel for you.
Anyway I found this on youtube. All I can say is that Kanye, you disappointed me you should have known better =( and Talyor Swift you looked quite beautiful for the VMAs =D. Checkout out the link.

Kanye West's Outburst at the VMAs

Blue?

Photo from flickr: Gian [The Cicco]
Why so sad? Why my friends, do you dwell on the pain of the winter, when the opportunity and peace of spring is here?

The skies are clear, without clouds to obscure the light from above, as your minds should be clear, allowing the light from within to emanate from within you.

Nature appears to be reborn, however life has never left us, it is always within, no matter the external form.

Do not get bogged down in all that is transient and therefore illusionary, be free.

Shock

Pretty average days in some respects, however during physics today someone who had no past history had a fit. Yes it was very shocking, however reflecting back today, what i found shocking, well maybe the verb is too strong, was that a great majority of the class was almost paralyzed in their chairs, a number of whom plan to do health science and go on to do medicine.
Medicine is not clear cut and ideal, with a definitive answer like theoretical science, it has a very significant humanity part to it too.

Medicine is about caring about the welfare of people not the size of your paycheck or brain.

That is all...

Ouch.....

Wow its been a long time away from the blog, yet life still carries on regardless. Was planning to have a good old yarn here earlier today but, nah thought it would be better just to talk about my speed skating session today.....
2 crashes, 1 relay fall, 1 failed relay timing, 1 hurting leg.

Thats sums it up nicely, the 2 crashes were due to my blades not being offset enough, (my boot was touching the ice =S) must be me going faster after all that working out, o by the way if anyone wants to get stronger fast, do the workout at www.stronglifts.com it really works! Anyway, if that wasn't bad enough one of the slower speedskaters pushed me OVER during the relay exchange. Lol peguin slide across the ice rink.
At least I didn't get owned by someone else when i fell (like in the photo above) I guess I should count myself lucky.

The Weekend

(Loling at the santa hat)
Anyway, this weekend was pretty, busy I guess. Started it with new workout plan, that involves a lot of recovery days and intense workouts, thats what I need! So that means more muscle, less time working out, what more do you want?

And that was my saturday morning sorted, just had to think about Russel's " 18th party" (laser strike) me and Hao decided not to go to the swimming part, he was "not keen", I didn't want the life guard to come and save me haha. So then I thought, Russels party, we havn't even got him anything! So then me and Hao hutted down to Westfield for something, we couldn't find anything creative so we bought him a $20 Dick Smith voucher, and split the cost >< years ="(.">< 3 guys sharing a $20 voucher was a little too cheap for me. hey we did a lot better than most of the people who turned up at laser strike and gave him nothing.

Laser strike, not really my choice of 18th B'dae event but there you go, exactly the same as his 17th (and probs 16th but I don't know). But this thing indicated that exactly a year had past since me and Hao became closer (as friends lol). He came over to my house and we walked to the bus stop, 16 mins 80 for the next bus, man the busses suck at night! it was only 5:55 on a sat!.
Then it was an hour of talking to Hao till we arrived at laser strike to see nobody else was there.... the birthday boy didn't arrive till 20min after he said to come, tut tut. Then the guy gave us random teams, gay! Well my team won anyway =) and guess who got the highest score *ME* =D all those hours spent playing call of duty on wii were not wasted!

Its amazing how sweaty one gets when taking laser strike seriously. John took off his jacket to show of his guns, and everyone hutted down to BK, except Nick and Alistair and we spent an hour there, talking about, guy stuff haha. Me and John walked into BK and jokingly said we should get something from countdown to be healthy, omg great idea, lol Primo extremo!

Then it was the bus ride home, more guy talk with Hao, man like 3 hours at a stretch! pretty extreme. not very exciting but yea, and i can't really be stuffed talking about Sunday so yea that it from me

Peace``

Sooo tired

right now I feel so tired, I don't even know why im bothering to write up a blog post, quite frankly i don't have much ryhme or reason for what I have been doing lately. But anyway its all because I got semi-woken up at about 5:30, and then my mind started racing. Seriously thinking is a b*tch especially when its early in the morning. Fine ok sometimes we all wake up early in the morning and start thinking sometimes, but the annoying thing that tends to happen, is that we fall back to sleep, often at the wrong time. I finally decided to wake up to 10 to 6, stuff that I'll just go to bed till about 7 just 10 mins. Alarm goes of 10 past 7 result, tired, confused, late for school, and too tired to do any weights now. }=@

True lust! The sexiest thing on four wheels!

OMG, this car is to good to describe with words, the Mclaren F1 LM, its beautiful! It's also athletic too, 0-60 mph in 3.2 seconds! And a top speed of 391 kph. Not really a family car, just a 3 seater coupe and has a price tag of about $4 million US. (I want this machine!)

Driving, driving and more driving .....

Look, I thought I was going pretty pro in our little beast of a diesel car Vauxhall Astra 92 (imagine if the car above was white). But then the driving instructor got me to go in his Mazda 2.... result.. fail. The controls for the accelerator and the clutch were so much lighter he was like ok I'll just let you drive for 10 mins... 1:30 min later.... ok just stop here on the side 8( lol.
Lets just say that now I appreciate the old astra, I actually like it! Never thought I'll ever say that in my life! lol.

Anger

See if you feel this,

So mad, But why? Because I feel that I could be doing so much better, failing to remember that each experience in life is meant to maximise our spiritual growth.

I'm angry. At what? At who? Myself, always frustrated at the endless missed opportunities, forgiving others but I have never forgiven myself. I dwell in the past and imagine how my life situation would have turned out if I been even slightly less lazy or incompetent, while developing a venomous jealousy and contempt of this illusionary destiny.

After being told to forgive others and not to blame others, I have forgotten not to blame and to forgive the person closest to me, the one that is with me until the end for his failures and short comings. What a critical double standard.

Stuck in a rut as I (stupidly) try and dig myself out of a hole, that began as a small depression in the earth now I stand, dwarfed in a crater, thus realizing that all I needed to do was to step up. However I find myself so deep, that I must climb to escape. As I release the ink onto this page, I'm climbing back up to a beautiful reality.

Peace~

Life is fickle

Life is quite fickle, just one small interaction, a few words, a body language cue or even just a misunderstanding between two people can create such unfounded feelings of both hollow happiness and sadness. With the former being all too fragile. Only a still and clear mind can be immune to these fluctuations in emotion. Nothing much to say right now..... Im actually getting onto my work, except the yo-yo which I don't like to do.

Reminiscing: Trade me

Got bored so looked back at some of my feedback on trade me, this one always cracks me up big time thought I would share it with you:

	2 Nov 2007
	Deal concluded successfully but left feeling strangely discomforted, no friendly salutation on email and never meet trader (me) when picking up goods, just an uncertain but polite young boy who had the goods ready for me(me). No extra charge for friendly smiles

LMAO! HAHA! :D

A quick trip to the Dunny....

I went down to Dunedin on Monday, nothing too interesting went down, just hutted down there to checkout what otgao Uni. was like. I found its much like Canterbury except the students a much more rowdy than back home. Apparently like 1,800 people do first year health science, so many people!

We got shown around Unicol and St.Margrets College, and from people I've asked Unicol is raucous while St. Margrets is more studious, in fact some say too studious. My family also drove past Carrington, its up a hill! In contrast St.Margrets is inside the Uni. Both have good food, and the Unipol gym is further away from Carrington. But then going up the hill would be good for you. However, when in the car, especially our old white Vauxhall Astra is highly freaky, sometimes frightening lol. ( North and West Dunedin have a lot of steep hils). At St. Margerts they bring the food to the table while at the others, there is a buffet. It is also really close to most of the other halls.

Anyway it probably looks St.Margrets is looking better, but I have to account for the price of car parks. Im 98% sure Im going to take the car down, cause I probably have to go around to sports trainings etc. and then I can also drive up when I feel like it, without taking an 8 hour bus ride, or a plane trip (waste of money). But it costs money to lease out a park, or if I go to Carrington I could risk it and rough it out on the streets (unlikely). I should ask how much each one costs some time. And then it depends on the number of people I know that are going to the halls.

Yea thats just some of the things I gathered, but I can't really be bother rambling on about it, ask if you want to know =).

It was kinda cold and dreary (just like home lol), but it wouldn't be so bad when it warms up.
We went to the museum and there was a 30C butterfly exhibit! I had almost forgoten, how great, how natural it is to be that warm. When I get a real job, its going to be where there is no winter! imagine just chilling out on the beach all year! 8-D
And then just to contrast the next day when we came up to CHCH, it was 4C at 1 pm 8-( .

Last few days

Ok lets start from thursday, I went to see the fabulous movie Bruno at the early time of 12 (I was not happy with it being so early) with the boys ( me, Hao, Timmy, Alex, Andrew, John and Russel). As you probably read from my last post I was not happy with the movie, though Andrew liked it a lot. The truth comes out.... lol

Then on thursday night was a party at Nick's (see above). It was alright, though the ratio to guys to chicks was far too high and some stoners came and messed up Nick's kitchen and chucked walnuts all over. Everyone (except me and like steve) got semi-drunk (because we ran out of alcohol and/or high of the ganja. Andrew Lee managed to get a $920 fine from the cops when he went to get maccas for himself, for breach of license, speeding and displaying his L plates. lol very unlucky.

Friday, what did I do on friday, =S O yeah went to the driving range with dad. Basically my first time to a driving range. I got a few good shots, a lot of not so good shots and a few shit shots lol.

Saturday, did a little archery, man it felt good to do after so long (2 weeks) lol. Was quite shit at the start though. Went driving for a bit, I should get my restricted soon so I don't have to go in the car with my mum distracted me by screaming about something. Then the boys (Hao, Panda and me) hutted down to Ding's house.

We played some wii (guess who dominated =D) and watched a bit of the 4th Harry Potter so Timmy could have fun looking at Emma Watson. I realised how down up, everyone's eyebrows were in that movie. That movie was actually a poor presentation of what was in the book, but considering the movie took 13 months, and missed out more than half the stuff in the book, maybe it was a good thing.

Then Sunday, urgh I had to get up at 6:55! I protest, over these holidays I've come to the conclusion that I need atleast 9 hours sleep to grow =D. But yea I was not happy, then me and my dad roll up at 8:20 5 min after bow inspection was ment to start (according to coach) to see the street was empty. Then all the alpha's(my minions) turned up too with out coach there. And then guess who turns up like 20 minutes late, saying that we don't start till 9:15 :O . What a waste of an hour of non-sleep. Well the competition was less than average for me, having not really practised for 2 weeks my performance was at times less than satisfactory. =( I left before all the scores were added up so I'm not sure where im placed, probably 4th or 5th =(. Shooting took all day basically (9 to 4) to Im pretty tired.

Peace``

Review of Bruno

2/5 stars: I had quite high expectations with this movie, with Sasha Baron Cohen's Borat being good, I guess the public was expecting something even funnier. Well I'm sorry but I dont find a mans genitals very funny at all, especially when its on the big screen and flopping around! Infact if I had not paid $10 for it I would have walked out somewhere near the start and missed out the funny bits. Yea, I don't really want to talk about it anymore it was just too gay for my liking.

Peace``

Archery paintball gun >=D

I meant to post this up ages ago, but you know how life is in the term. One day while at aimtru, the younger archers were very excited by this (see above). Its the airow (pun to arrow) gun, basically you attach it onto your bow and use the power from the draw and compressed CO2 to shoot your paintballs. Every archers dream, to pone their friends in paintball with a bow, while every1 else is missing you with their little guns.
Price $1,100
= 0
Not fair, us poor students want fun too!

This gun is so much more accurate but, of course its only one ball at a time. I can see myself having so much fun if I had one of these when I was paintballing. But ofcourse I am way too poor to afford to go paintballing =(.

More Info
Peace``

Recovered?

Well Im glad thats over, and I'm glad term two is over. However I have that wierd feeling that I havn't done something I was meant to do, or something that I should have done...
sigh I guess bleh forget it.

Anyway I also kinda doubt my full recovery, started exercising again, well at least I tried, I had to stop half way because I was too tired. I might try again later tonight, I've been sleeping a lot more than I used to, but I haven't grown and nor to I feel less tired. I've got to get fit again and quick, just looked up whats planned for next speed skating session,
3k
500m
1k
3k relay

in 45 min =0 . Considering I have been resting because I was sick and that I haven't been on th ice for 2 weeks and I'll be skating with people mnay times better than I am, enough to make me cough again lol. In addition to that after resting for 1 week, my muscles have shrunk :( not cool.

Its finally the holidays and now i feel likes it over hyped, anyway at least I can relax now =D.

Attack of the viruses....

Yes im sick, damn it. Definately something viral, probably some strain of influenza hopefully not H1N1 ae. Guess I just have to sit and rest up and try not to pass it on.... or not >:) lol jj. O speaking of spreading viruses, there was something on the news about some bi guy who went around spreading HIV to everyone. Fankly its quite digusting and he should be executed or something.

Peace``

What happened to happiness?

Looks like its going to be the coldest winter I've ever lived through this year and I ain't talking about the temperature.....

Today can be summarised as fustration and isolation. Certainly doesn't make one feel good and what is worse im not too sure why i feel like this. Ironically the time that im left alone the least I feel the most isolated. What is doubly ironic is the explanation that maybe im feeling how different I am to others when in reality our minds all have the same sturcture just differing content.

What happened to happiness? What happened to not worrying about stuff? Im not even sure if I am worrying.....Urgh... I can't wait till summer, then I can just sit outside and do nothing and forget everything for a moment and just absorb the energy of the enviroment. I don't want to be anything special, I just need to be.


In other news did any of you guys see that thing on close up where a little kid stole a bike, far out they start young these days. I dont think the parents came foward either.

Better get back onto my history work, O that reminds me.
Im studying the Battle of Okinawa. Just a word of advice to those who read my blog. Though it is unlikely, If anyone of you, becomes the leader of a country, avoid war at all costs. Well maybe not all costs, and especially not with people more powerful than you and definatly not when you have no idea what you are doing. Man, Okinawa was a massacre.

Anyways feeling better now, peace~~ George

Sigh....

Rough day, I've just had enough. I just want to be, there's too much stuff to think about. I've now accepted that I'm not going to Japan, urgh hope is nearly as horrible as fear. Acutually coming to think of it, its worse, when you get over a fear you feel free while when you get over hope you feel defeated. I guess now I can appreciate what it means when both hope and fear are just illusions of the ego.

So as I've been thinking a lot, when I was coming out of the shower that we ultimately want two things in life (from other people) :

1. Love

2. Respect

Everything else we desire ultimatley comes from these two basic human needs, and unlike other wants they are pure and are not harmful to others.

Shoutout to Jenny, Happy 18th birthday to that girl,
--

For the record

Nothing much new, dont usually have the time to come one here every time I see something new. Lets see, haircut.... I dont know what people had againist my sideburns, they were beautiful. After I got my haircut my mums like "You look hideous with those things [sideburns]." Bloody hell, people have no sense of good facial hair these days, so i trimmed it a bit, a very sad time lol. So for the record I grew my sideburns below my jaw level. Now they live just below my ear, ooo so rebelious.

What else? Does anyone else get pissed off with all this dog sh*t lying around? Its everywhere. My neighbour's dog is the worst, its trying to create a roadblock for pedestrians along the shared driveway. What's wrong with this you may ask? Its bloody annoying, when you have to whip out our phone as a light and move at snail pace to avoid sh*t when you want to get home and eat your food! And plus the dog is not even cute! Moral of the story, SORT YOUR SH*T OUT!!!!!

O and me and Hao customized his board,(I think I'll call it the wunga board) lol have a look at it when he brings it to school next. You may see me skating to school as well, when im sure im not going make a fool of myself lol. =)

Wii update:
Boxing 2950 but now the rate of increase is reducing, will Naveen make it to 3000?
Golf:800+, 200 more to go pro in all sports

BIO update:
Why does physiology take so long to do????

Fitness update:
Poor, due to spending too much time on the above. Haven't gone for a run in ages....

Peace``

Stuff

Wow haven't blogged in over a week =O. So what's new? Lets see in that time I have become a pro wii baseballer, that makes me a pro in 4 wii sports, with only golf left, then i'll be totally pro.
The wii boxing is going alright ae, 2900+ and still going but my rate of increase is slowly decrease is similar to that of a logistic curve. Hopefully it will let me get to 3000 points =). Lets see what else, o I've deceided that maybe I should be studying bio again in the remote chance that I do go, this non-travelling reserve position is a m@!@$!@$!$ing b!@$h, >8( ~~~~~ anyway Iv'e done the easy subjects of ecology and animal behaviour (20%) and now im working on phylogenetics, Ive got phylogenetic notes on my floor and the curl up like scholar's scrolls lol. And that's basically it....
O swine flu, now everyone is on swine flu alert, was a bit creeped out when the person I was partnered up with was sniffling... O_o its not as bad as the hype makes it out to be, it is slightly less lethal than regular influenza A.

Peaceout... ... ... ~~~

Mind dump: Guilt......

My mum has suddenly changed, I get comments like:

Your not eating enough, eat somemore (ok ive heard that all my life)
Your not tall enough eat more
Your not reaching your potential
Your not eating enough protein
You're puny *grabs ribs*
You go back to sleep
You're asking too much of yourself
You're not putting on any muscle
You're too thin eat more
Take more rice
Take more meat
Here I bought you some food
Look at your sister why can't you just eat like she does
Here i'll do that for you...

General message:
EAT MORE!!!!!
GROW!!!!!!
GAIN WEIGHT!!!

0_o What has got into my mum?
Maybe the fact that i'll be leaving next year.... maybe the fact that all shorter women want their sons to grow tall. What happened to looks are only skin deep? pfft

Anyway, I actually feel kind of guilty now. Before it was like, its kinda hard to explain, but anyway now I feel guilty that my family has put so much investment into me. I feel obliged *spelling* too make them feel 'proud' of me. Its just everything I do I rarely give it my best shot these days. Whether I do well or do bad. Back in the day when your parents ask you if you had tried your best, the immediate reply in your mind in YES! But now I know i havent tried my best, im always slacking of, at any turn. The main one that sticks out to me is ringing my mum after the bio theory exam, (mum)Its ok what you get as long as you tried your hardest .......... o_0 (me) ummm........

Its like untapped potential, i know that they are happy with what I get but I know i could do better, everything I do could have been done better, if i just pushed myself that little bit further.

meh... Just saw a documentary about an institute for disabled kids in Bulgaria. All I know is that im thankful for the life stituation im in now,some of the pain and neglect I saw made me want to throw up, hell exists on earth aswell.........

Dick Smith.....

Today was such a lax, day, a day dedicated to doing absolutly no work. Yesterday evening I had an urge to play wii sports, so today I fufilled that urge. About half an hour of wii boxing in the morning. Dodge dodge, Jab+cross, dodge, dodge, Jab+ cross, KO!!!!. lol thats basically how it goes.

Then went to the mall to meet up with some of the boys. Got a chance to check out the upstairs of the mall, looks all new and big, with lots of stores that are big and expensive, with stuff I probably won't be able to afford. Quite impressive for little chch I think. Just to think when my family came here, it wasn't even called westfield! Riccarton mall, was just like bush inn, and we had a house in a dodgy area just near it.

Anyway the big new Dick Smith store, (lol) was packed. Hao and Timmy were telling me how there was four lines from the car park downstairs to dick smith. :0
I might go there tommorrow to see a laptop with dad (and hopefully getting it :D).

Then got home, more wii boxing. I managed to get up to 2696 skill points now and there ain't no sign of reaching a limit. Im trying to find the inbuilt limit to skil at wii boxing, lol.

Peace---- lol

Totally average week...

Yes average.....
Nothing to exciting or special, got the exam results back
Physics- Fail
Stats- M Probability
E- linear equations
Modelling Internal E

So that racks up my E total to a tiny 5 credits. Honestly I've either failed or got E in all the internals ive got back so far, however ive failed a total of 7 credits already in internals, = O. No, Naveen didn't fail, no... = 0
You know, a year ago I would have pulled by hair out, Im balding anyway but nevermind about this. But Now im wiser and now I realise that it isn't worth worrying about these sorts of things. Acutally anything that is impermanent is not worth stressing about because of course these are not going to last.

And schol, Ive asked a few people and decided that physics schol is not worth doing, so that leaves Bio, Chem, History and Stats. That means a lot of study for hist and stats, but after bio camp, I can do it :D. Just need to remember to tell Mr Summerfield ae.


Nothing lasts.

Read those two words again and again to get what I mean.
Somehow i've ended with a philosophical note, lol.

Computer is dying :(

Ok first off, my computer is dying (as you probably know from the title).

Sigh, I won't go into any detail about it because its very trivial.

Anyway because our computer is playing up, I had plenty of time to read, eat, ponder, be present and a little more reading.
Honestly this is a great book, its called the New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. If your wondering why i've become so "deep" recently its because I have been reading that book. Changed the way I look at life man......

So you should be seeing some changes around here once I figure out how to use blogger.com properly.

Mid-year exam

Is it that time of year again?
Yep.

Physics, uncertanties internal:
Not happy that I had to get up early, Had my cellphone set to 10 to 6 and as usual turned off the alarm while half asleep. Why did it have to disturb my dream? I have such random dreams, all i remember was I was getting my Mazda R-X8 a custom paint job, black with some decals on it.....
That was how my dream started, lol totally random.

Anyway I managed to stop myself falling back asleep and got out of bed when my ipod alarm which is set to 7 went off, lol.
Everything was going smoothly I was early for once. Walked to school, with random thoughts running through my head. Upon reaching the hall, everyone started to get their stuff and go in the hall. Whipped out my pencil case that has my calculator in it.......... @#$@!!!!!! No calculator, time 8:27, Exam start time 8:30, 30 seconds randomly asking people for a calcualtor.

Then someone told me to ask Sam because he has a spare. Couldn't find him, but I found Kevin with two, so I borrowed his. Kevin saved me from utter failure lol. However I think I still failed anyway.

Stats was much better, probabillity, I dont know why so many people find it sooooo hard. It has minimal maths replaced with maximal thinking, =). Anything without to much number crunching is good. I have come to the conlcusion that I need to practice simultaneous equations, I did the exam question and got a negative answer for a unknown that had to be positive, lol.

I have also come to the conclusion that I've sat at the computer as well, spent most of my time after school here lol, Im such a fatty lol.

Pondering

Sigh I guess its the end of the road for the IBO, just got a phone call yesterday confirming me as the NON-TRAVELLING reserve, I guess 5th in NZ isnt too bad. :(

Exams tommorrow, and while others went to school today to do their calculas mid year exam I was left at home with a free day :). However an idle mind is very dangerous isnt it, it turned its thought to scholarship, when instead I should have been studying for stats and phys. The trend of thought went like this:
School work------> Schol-----> requires a lot of study =(-----> already done quite a bit of bio study =( ----> chem, history and stats needs a lot of study =( --------> $$$$$$ :D------> Have a look at the exams....... lots of writing!! :(.

However an overiding voice in my head is telling me, top scholar bio........ Maybe that goal is possible >=).

But then I had one of those deep moments, why do we always constantly want to be the best. At the end of the day its because we want to feel superior to everyone else around us thinking that this will help us achieve happiness.
But then what do we do?
Do I just sit around and do nothing?
Let someone else take it?
What is the point?
So what if I get it?
So what if I don't?
Does it make a difference what we do?
Will I be statisifed by beating as many people as possible?
Is there something more important I should be aiming for?
Will getting it change who, "I" am?
Probably not.

Woodlice, Modelling and Simple Harmonic motion

Im quite dissapointed with my time management with my woodlice however im quite pround of completing majority between 8pm and 12:30 am. :D

And then the day slowly got worse when it came to stats... all good I was going well but time always works againist us.... I didnt even get up to the excellence part..pft @#!# another 3 E credits down the drain, I really hope that I scrape merit beacuase i didnt finish that part either.

And then a Physics test next period, note to self, Do the physics homework and atleast look at the textbook before the test, hopefully I get an A...... sigh thank god its the weekend :)

VICTORY!!!!!!!

After nearly 30 years of a bloody civil war Sri Lanka is now free from the LTTE after special forces captured the last LTTE controlled areas on the 18th.

:D

I wonder what a peaceful Sri Lanka will be like now, I havent got much more to say after about a year constantly checking the defence news I feel thankful its over :D.

Anyway, stupid open day today at school :(. Took me 2 hours to show the school around to 1 family, in the rain, how sad is that, sigh........

Isnt this sad/ touching

When trawling some defence blogs i found this:
In Iraq 2005, a special forces, major holding a child that was injured in a suicide bomb blast attacking a US patrol while they were surrounded by a group of about 25 children. The child died later in hospital. ="(

Goals.....

Goals..... well I tried to work on my goals today, much to Jenny's surprise.

After an hour of wasting my life at the computer playing Call of Duty 4, i decided to see how somebody would go about walking on a swiss ball, ( I can stand on our swiss ball wiht relative ease). Pluging in into google, i found nothing...... Unbelievable put yea, no one has done it and bragged about it all over the net.
Going onto youtube i found some cool videos of a guy doing a 50 lb dumbell lift while standing on a swiss ball! There was also one of a chip swing while on the ball, quite good even I wouldnt be able to do that.

Having seen how balanced I am, I promptly picked up the skatboard that lies in our garage and just rode..... kick push, kick push coast.... yea I already knew had to skate I just didnt try.... lol so thats one thing almost done, i just have to balance with my man bag on the board and see how I can avoid obstacles on the street ( people, dogsh*t, gravel and sticks) lol.
And for people who dont know what im talking about a swiss ball is what this guy is standing on at the top of the post.

Things to do before next year.

Learn how to:

1. Walk on a swiss ball
   
2. To do a back flip
3. To do a font flip lol
4. Tie a tie lol,
5. Ride a skateboard

Get:

1. My restricted lol
2. NCEA level 3 E Certificate lol (very unlikely)
   

Sinhala:
MUST understand, speak and be able to read and write a little bit, no more I can't bullsh*t. Im honestly cant take any more of it, nothing brings me down more than being voiceless in my mother tongue x(......................

sigh..... Im sure i've left something out, what do you guys think?

1. Grow taller
2. Get my full
3. Get stronger.
4. Juggling
5. Become a better cook
6. Learn how to play black jack
7. Learn how to sing and rap
8. Learn Sinhala sign language
9. Learn how to complete a rubix cube
10. Learn first aid.
    

Thanks guys!!!

A big shout out to every one who got me stuff, on my birthday, wished me one my birthday and who thought about me (good thoughts only >=) ) on my birthday. Though i was feeling kinda sick on the 13th it was a good day ^^.

You guys are never too far from my mind, which one day I will rid myself of so I'll have to find another way to think about you :D.

Reflections of a year....

Its the end of another year of life, slowly it passes us by, yet on the otherside of the coin life passes us quickly as the mind potrays in its fluid states of happyness and despair. Yet when we are in peace, life doesn't seem to slip out of our hands and time is no longer an issue and we are free of the shackles of the past and the fog of the future....... ok thats me gone on a spiritual tangent sorry guys.

Overall I suppose the last year has been on of great change, both physically, emotionally, mentally and also i guess spritiually.Before I never stopped to look back and obsevre my past as someone who is removed from it. Now I can see that I am now were near my "full development" though to some of you this may seem so plain to see however it is quite an important thing to realise in life, that we continue to be modelled by, not only our experiences but also the way we reacted to them.

At the same time last year I was just a boy, and in another years time I may reflect back and say that I was still a boy now, but I know for sure that I am far more mature now and I can confidently say that the way I observe my life has changed.

I've met heaps of people over this year and some of you I have got to know quite well =) and I would like to thank you guys for umm.... just being there lol.

I hope next year would have just as much realisation and x100 more good times with the people who care. =)

Peaceout....

My bloody itunes

Recently, (nearly the last month) I have been a dejected man...., y? Because my itunes is screwed up. Now I know most people out there sont think this is a big deal but I love getting new music, but now, sigh. :( Im stuck to listening to the same old stuff i put on my little ipod.

OMG im blogging!

Yea, after having a blogger account for over a year I thought in the last few days, now is a good time to start blog.... they say the mind uses us for its own good and not the other way around. Its funny that when I choose to do things its when im the most busy. Phhft, enough with that crap, I set up this blog and its look empty and cheesy.... so maybe in the next few days I'll sort it out.